As the month of May unfolds, it invites us to embrace its earthy warmth and quiet bloom. May often feels like a feminine month—tender, nourishing, layered with cycles of renewal. But what does femininity even mean in today’s world? We are increasingly challenging binary ways of thinking, yet grappling with the loss of the feminine—particularly within a patriarchal framework—still feels vital. It’s more than just abstract social critique; it’s about our relationship with rest, with the earth, and ultimately, with ourselves.
This month also marks Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, a time that prompts deeper reflection for many, including myself as an Asian woman of color. Navigating the world through the lens of my heritage and gender identity often feels like carrying a paradox: being told you are too much, not enough, and always needing to serve others. It’s a cycle that steals your rest—and one that many marginalized identities share. Reclaiming rest, in this context, becomes an act of generational healing and gratitude.
Lately, I’ve been bone-tired.
Not just the kind of tired you feel after a long day, but the kind that makes your to-do list blur into a fog, where opening an email feels like lifting a mountain. After several weeks of nonstop teaching and emotional labor, I’ve found myself wondering: is this burnout or depression? Maybe both? Either way, my body has drawn a clear line—I need stillness. I’m listening. I’m heading off on a short solo retreat into the woods, in search of quiet, clarity, and perhaps a deeper connection to my own rhythms.
But this isn’t just about me.
We live in a culture that idolizes productivity and pathologizes rest. So the question isn’t just Am I tired?—it’s How do I know I’m tired, and what do I do about it? Tiredness shows up differently for each of us. Some feel it as irritability. Others as disinterest in things that once brought joy. For some, it arrives as a fog that clouds every thought.
So ask yourself:
- What are the signals your body or mind sends when you’re stretched too thin?
- What patterns show up when you need care?
- What do you reach for in those moments—silence, sleep, nature, creativity, connection?
Our ancestors may not have had language for “burnout,” but they knew about cycles. They honored seasons of rest. Re-learning how to rest is not laziness—it’s remembering something essential. And for those of us whose identities have been shaped by systems that devalue rest, it’s a radical act.
If you’re unsure where to start, here are a few gentle offerings for reconnecting with yourself:
1. A Comic Relief
No Worries If Not by Natalya Lobanova is a delightful comic that nails the absurdity of modern exhaustion. It’s humorous, yes, but also deeply relatable. It reminds us that we’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed.
2. A Quick Self-Check
Chris Bailey’s Two-Minute Burnout Checkup is a fast but effective tool. It helps you take stock of your energy and focus areas for recalibration. Think of it as a snapshot of your current emotional landscape—no shame, just awareness.
3. A Broader Lens on Healing
Leah Thomas and Whitney McGuire, two powerful voices in environmental justice, remind us that rest and care are not separate from activism. Their conversation on The Well and Good Podcast is a call to inclusivity in climate action—and a reminder that the planet, like people, needs restoration.
4. A Rethinking of Land and Belonging
In Awakening Together, Larry Yang challenges the colonial dream of land ownership. His reflection on mindfulness and collective community asks us to redefine our relationship with the earth—not as something to possess, but as something we are part of.
If that idea feels difficult, especially when paired with realities like housing insecurity and economic pressure, check out River Nice’s workshop: Building Wealth via Property When You Hate Capitalism. It speaks to a generation trying to live ethically in a system that often feels at odds with its values.
5. A Walk with Nature—and Yourself
Try this: take a walk or sit in stillness outdoors. Not to do anything—just to listen, feel, breathe. Reflect on the subtle ways you’ve learned to view yourself as separate from nature. Then, write down all the ways you are of nature. You breathe, you change with the seasons, you grow. Let that sink in—not just intellectually, but physically. Let it change how you move through the world.
6. A Ten-Minute Return to Your Body
Meditation doesn’t have to be grand. The Tuning Into the Body’s Wisdom practice is a short, 10-minute return to presence. Noticing the smallest sensations—the warmth in your palms, the heaviness of your eyelids—can lead to profound clarity. It’s a gentle way of asking your body, How are you today? and actually listening to the answer.
May, in all its blooming beauty, asks us to consider what it means to be nourished. Not just fed or functioning, but truly cared for. Rest is not just a break from life—it is life. It is as sacred as growth, as vital as action. So if you find yourself tired, know that your need for rest is not a weakness—it is wisdom speaking.
May your May be warm, earthy, and gentle. May you find rest in silence, renewal in small joys, and strength in honoring your rhythms.
